Monica, Do You Love Me? – When Jesus Meets Us in Our Failures

Lately, I’ve been in a dry place.

Spiritually dry. Emotionally empty.

I’ve been neglecting prayer, my blog, and even my podcast.

And it’s not just that I’ve been distracted—I’ve been falling into sins I know I should avoid. Sins I’ve struggled with before.

I know better… but I still slipped.

The guilt has been heavy. So heavy that this thought came to me:

What if God takes away the healing He’s given me… because I haven’t been faithful?

If you’ve ever been there, you know how it feels—that gnawing whisper that says, You’ve messed it all up.

The Moment That Stopped Me in My Tracks

One day, I was reading John 21:15-17—the story where Jesus meets Peter after the resurrection. Peter had denied Him three times, and now they’re face to face on the shore.

As I read it, I pictured myself there with Jesus. I could hear the waves and smell the little fire.

And then I heard it—not in an audible voice, but deep inside my heart:

“Monica, do you love me?”

It wasn’t harsh.

It wasn’t angry.

It was tender. Inviting.

I could barely whisper in my heart: “Yes, Lord… You know I love You.”

Again: “Monica, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord. You know I do.”

A third time: “Monica, do you love me?”

By that third time, my eyes filled with tears. I realized Jesus wasn’t asking because He doubted my love. He was asking so I would remember it—and know that my calling, my healing, and my place in His heart had not been canceled.

What Peter—and I—Learned

Peter denied Jesus three times, yet Jesus didn’t say, “You blew it, Peter. I’ll find someone else.”

He restored him. He trusted him again. And He told him, “Follow me.”

That’s what Jesus was doing with me in that moment. And maybe… that’s what He’s doing with you.

Romans 11:29 says, “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.”

God isn’t standing with a clipboard, marking down every failure. He’s standing on the shore, asking: Do you love me?

A Gentle Way Back

If you’ve been feeling far from God or weighed down by guilt, here’s a gentle 7-day re-entry plan that’s been helping me:

Day 1: Sit with the Lord for 5 minutes and just say, “Here I am, Lord.” Read Psalm 51:1-12. Write down one sin you want to surrender.

Day 2: Read Luke 15:11-32. Make a short list of what you’d like to bring to Confession.

Day 3: Go to Confession and, if possible, receive the Eucharist. Read Isaiah 1:18.

Day 4: Play one worship song. Read Psalm 103:1-5. Write three things God has done for you.

Day 5: Ask God, “Where can I show Your love today?” Read Matthew 25:35-40. Encourage someone.

Day 6: Read John 15:1-11 slowly. Write down one phrase to carry with you.

Day 7: Light a candle and thank God. Read Philippians 1:6. Ask Him to bless your calling again.

A Prayer for Moments of Temptation

Lord Jesus, You are my strength when I am weak.

Right now, my heart is pulled toward what I know will harm me.

I choose You instead.

Cover me with Your Precious Blood, and send Your Holy Spirit to drive away every dark whisper.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Mary, Mother most pure, wrap me in your mantle and lead me to your Son.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend me in this battle.

Father, I am Yours—hold me fast until this storm passes.

Amen.

Your Turn

Imagine Jesus looking at you right now and asking:

“(Your name), do you love me?”

What’s your answer?

Even if you’re tired.

Even if you’ve messed up.

Even if you feel far away.

Because He’s not asking for your perfection. He’s asking for your heart—again and again, every time you fall.

💬 If this post spoke to you, I invite you to listen to the full podcast episode of No Name Prayer Podcast for a deeper reflection. You can find it here or on your favorite podcast platform.

Your sister in Christ,

Monica